Embracing Authenticity and Finding True Belonging
Have you ever thought about the people in your life who make you feel the happiest? Chances are, they are the ones with whom you can be completely yourself, free from the fear of judgment. These relationships, where authenticity thrives, are where true belonging is found.
The Power of Authenticity
We are at our happiest when we are our authentic selves. Authenticity means embracing who we truly are, with all our quirks, passions, and imperfections. But being authentic also means accepting that not everyone will like us, and that's a tough pill to swallow!
It's crucial to understand that being true to yourself does not mean you are unlikable. It simply means that not every person is compatible with everyone else. Think about it: we all have different tastes, interests, and values. This diversity is what makes the world a beautiful and vibrant place.
The Trap of Seeking Likeability
We live in a world that encourages us to hide our imperfections and conform to societal standards. Social media provides us with a highlight reel of everyone’s life, making unrealistic comparisons way too easy. Feelings of not being good enough can tempt us to change who we are in our quest to feel liked and accepted. It's easy to lose sight of our true selves. We might start to mold our personalities and behaviours to fit into what we think others want. This often leads to us abandoning our authenticity, and let's be honest, that feels icky.
When we focus solely on being likable, we are constantly seeking external validation. This can be exhausting and, ultimately, unfulfilling. True belonging and acceptance come from first accepting yourself and then learning to appreciate and love yourself.
Embracing Self-Love
What's more important than being liked by everyone else is that you like—or better yet, love—yourself. Self-love is the foundation of a fulfilling and authentic life. When you accept yourself for who you are, you no longer feel the need to conform to others' expectations. This requires you to get to know your true self and identify parts of yourself that you value and appreciate. This allows you to, at the end of the day, validate and reassure yourself by saying things like:
"It's okay if they don't like me. I know that I am (insert qualities that you like about yourself e.g.: kind, smart, creative) and I like myself.
"It's okay if they don't see my value. That doesn’t mean I’m not valuable.”
“If they don’t want to go on another date with me, that doesn’t mean I’m not good enough. That means they are not for me.”
The Journey to True Belonging
Finding true belonging means seeking out relationships and environments where you can be your authentic self. These are the spaces where you will flourish and feel genuinely happy. Remember, it's better to have a few deep, authentic connections than many superficial ones.
Authenticity attracts authenticity. When you show up as your true self, you invite others to do the same. This creates a ripple effect, fostering a community where everyone feels accepted and valued for who they truly are.
Final Thoughts
Embracing your authenticity is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. Remember that true belonging comes from being accepted for who you are, not for who you think others want you to be. Celebrate your uniqueness and surround yourself with those who cherish it. By doing so, you'll not only find true belonging but also inspire others to do the same.
At RiseWork Therapy, we're here to support you on your journey to self-acceptance and authentic living. Let's embrace our true selves together and create a world where everyone feels they truly belong.
We are hosting an in-person self-worth workshop!
July 7th 2024 in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
