Embracing Your Worth: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Self-Value
Alright, let's dive into a topic that's as tricky as it is essential: self-worth. It's like the compass of our lives, guiding our decisions, relationships, and most importantly, how we feel about ourselves. But let's be real, sometimes that compass gets a little wonky, and we find ourselves stuck in a loop of self-doubt and not feeling “good enough”. This blog post attempts to unpack how we get to a place of low self-worth, identifying the things that bring and keep us there.
Self-worth is basically the idea that you're enough and worthy of good things, just the way you are. We are all imperfect, works-in-progress, and we are all deserving of happiness, success, love and respect. But when your self-worth takes a nosedive, it's like wearing tinted glasses that make everything seem a little bleak. Suddenly, you're second-guessing yourself, feeling anxious, and maybe even avoiding stuff you'd love to do.
Luckily, building your self-worth is possible, especially with the support of a therapist. Drawing awareness to how and why you feel like you’re not good enough, is a crucial element to growing and nurturing a positive view of self. With awareness comes the opportunity to change unhelpful or unfair patterns! This process is one of ups and downs and fluctuation in your sense of self is normal. Let’s talk about why that is and the things that chip away at our feelings of worthiness.
Life Experiences and Self-Perception:
Our childhood and early experiences lay down the groundwork for self-perception. Think of it like the foundation of a house. Good experiences strengthen it, while the not-so-great ones can leave some cracks. Family dynamics, school life, childhood traumas, parental expectations, and societal norms mold the way we see ourselves. Positive life experiences can bolster our self-worth, while negative ones can leave scars.
Assumptions and Behaviour:
Our assumptions about our worthiness dictate our behaviour in profound ways. We may settle for less than we deserve in relationships and careers, fearing rejection or failure. We may shy away from opportunities, convinced that we're unworthy or incapable of success or happiness. These self-imposed limitations constrain our growth and perpetuate feelings of unworthiness. If we act in alignment with the negative self-perception we developed of ourselves, we don’t get opportunities to prove to ourselves that we are good enough. Have you ever stayed in a job you hated because you didn't think you deserved better? Or stuck it out in a toxic relationship because you thought that's all you could get? I’ve certainly been there, done that. Our unworthiness and fear of not being enough lead to us tolerating situations that are unhealthy and seem to validate our negative view of ourselves. The way that our assumptions impact our behaviour perpetuates feelings of low self-worth and can hold us back from chasing our dreams, taking risks, and becoming who we’re meant to be.
The Broken Feedback Loop:
Ever notice how you remember that one negative comment over a dozen compliments? Yeah, that's the feedback loop at work. We tend to let criticism sink in deep, while praise gets shrugged off. Unfortunately, our brains have a built-in negativity bias, and in this instance, it’s not doing us any favours. We tend to magnify criticism and downplay praise, perpetuating a cycle of self-doubt and inadequacy. This skewed perception distorts our sense of self-worth, reinforcing negative beliefs and undermining our confidence.
The Social Media Comparison Trap:
Ah, the joys of social media—where everyone's life seems perfect. These days, comparison has become ubiquitous, thanks to social media. It’s easy to fall into the comparison game and feel like you're falling short. We measure our worth against carefully curated images and highlight reels, setting unrealistic standards for ourselves. This incessant comparison erodes our confidence and distorts our perceptions, fostering a culture of inadequacy and discontent.
I encourage you to draw awareness to these “self-worth suckers” and confidence destroyers. I encourage you to challenge negative beliefs and unfair assumptions about yourself. Working with a therapist can help you unravel those tangled thoughts, challenge those negative beliefs, and build up your self-worth muscles. A therapist provides a safe space to unpack deep-seated beliefs and challenge unhelpful patterns. Through introspection and self-discovery, we can cultivate a more positive view of ourselves and nurture our sense of worthiness. Therapy equips us with the tools to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience, empowering us to embrace our inherent worthiness and live authentically, because you're pretty friggin’ awesome after all.
