Supporting a Loved One Struggling with Depression: What To Do & What Not To Do
Depression is a complex and debilitating mental health disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. It not only impacts an individual's mood and energy levels but also can make them lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. When someone you care about is battling depression, it can be challenging to know how to support them effectively. In this article, we'll delve deeper into understanding depression and provide guidance on how to support a loved one who is struggling.
Understanding Depression
Depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day. It's a pervasive mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or pessimism. Depression often manifests in various ways, and it can be helpful to recognize some of the common symptoms:
Persistent Sadness: Individuals with depression often experience long-lasting periods of intense sadness or emotional emptiness.
Feelings of Hopelessness or Pessimism: Depression can lead to a sense of hopelessness about the future and a pervasive negative outlook on life.
Irritability: People with depression may become easily irritable or agitated.
Guilt and Worthlessness: Self-esteem plummets, and individuals may constantly blame themselves for their situation, feeling worthless or helpless.
Loss of Interest or Pleasure: One of the hallmark symptoms of depression is the inability to find joy or interest in activities that were once enjoyable.
Now that we have a better understanding of depression, let's explore how you can support a loved one who is struggling with this condition, things you can do, as well as things to avoid.
How to Support a Loved One with Depression
Educate Yourself on Depression
The first step in supporting a loved one with depression is to educate yourself about the condition. Understanding the symptoms, causes, and treatment options can help you provide informed and empathetic support. Books, websites, or professional resources can be valuable tools for increasing your knowledge.
Urge Your Loved One to Seek Professional Support
It's essential to recognize that you can't replace a professional therapist or psychiatrist. Encourage your loved one to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in depression and mood disorders. Offer your assistance in finding a suitable therapist or psychiatrist, and if necessary, help schedule appointments or provide transportation.
Model Compassion and Empathy
Depression often comes with a barrage of self-critical and negative thoughts. It can be hard for someone struggling with depression to be understanding and compassionate with themselves. It can be incredibly valuable to be that compassionate and empathetic presence in your loved one's life. Offer emotional support without judgment, emphasizing that the way they are feeling is not their fault and it must be so hard to be feeling the way that they are.
Check In Regularly
Consistent communication is crucial when supporting someone with depression. Let your loved one know that you care about them and are thinking of them. Invite them to low-energy activities, such as watching a movie or going for a gentle walk, but be understanding if they decline. Your presence and continued offers of support can help combat the isolation often associated with depression.
Understand Warning Signs of Suicidality
While not everyone with depression experiences suicidal thoughts, it's crucial to be aware of the warning signs, including talking about death or suicide, giving away belongings, withdrawing from loved ones, or expressing a sense of hopelessness. If you believe your loved one is at risk of self-harm or suicide, take immediate action. Offer to go with them to the nearest emergency department, alert other trusted friends or family, and if necessary, call 911 or a suicide hotline.
What to Avoid When Supporting a Loved One with Depression
While providing support to a loved one with depression is crucial, it's equally important to be aware of potential pitfalls that can inadvertently harm rather than help. Here are some things to avoid when supporting someone with depression:
Giving Unsolicited Advice or Playing the Role of a Therapist
One common mistake is trying to provide solutions or acting as a makeshift therapist. Depression is a complex condition that requires professional help. Avoid offering advice or trying to "fix" your loved one's problems. Instead, encourage them to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who can provide appropriate treatment and guidance.
Minimizing or Comparing Their Experience
Statements like "We've all been there" or "I know you're sad, but..." can unintentionally invalidate your loved one's feelings and make them feel unheard. Depression is not just sadness; it's a legitimate mental health disorder with deep emotional and physical impacts. Avoid minimizing their struggles or comparing their experiences to others.
Forcing Positivity
Telling your loved one to "look at the bright side" or insisting that "life's not that bad" may come from a well-intentioned place, but it can be dismissive of their real and intense emotions. Depression can distort one's perception of reality, making it difficult for them to see positives. Instead, offer your support by validating their feelings and being there to listen without judgment.
Overextending Yourself and Abandoning Boundaries
Supporting a loved one with depression can be emotionally taxing. It's important to set and maintain healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being. While you want to be there for your loved one, remember that you are not their therapist, and you cannot carry the entire burden of their recovery. Continue to check in with yourself and prioritize your mental health to prevent burnout or emotional exhaustion.
Neglecting Your Own Needs
It's easy to become so focused on helping your loved one that you neglect your own needs. Remember that your mental health and well-being are essential too. Make sure to engage in self-care, seek support from friends or a therapist if necessary, and maintain a support system for yourself. You can better help your loved one when you are in a stable and healthy mental and emotional state.
Assuming You Understand Completely
Every individual's experience with depression is unique. Avoid assuming that you understand precisely what your loved one is going through, even if you've experienced depression yourself. Instead, listen actively and ask open-ended questions to better understand their feelings and needs. Avoid offering solutions or making assumptions about their experience.
Supporting a loved one who is struggling with depression can be emotionally challenging, but your presence and understanding can make a significant difference in their journey to recovery. By educating yourself about depression, encouraging professional help, showing compassion and empathy, staying in touch, and recognizing warning signs of suicidality, you can play a vital role in helping your loved one navigate this difficult period. Remember that seeking support for yourself, such as counselling or support groups, can also be beneficial as you support your loved one on their path to healing.
